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We are connecting now with the White House bar...
...to broadcast the inauguration of the first Extremenian...
...being sworn into the presidency of the United States of America.
- Americans! From now on: Figs, Axes and Fig trees! And every other country...
- Ronaldo, three, four...
- Ronald, one, two... The son of...
- Look! Here you are going to have, your food! Check this out!
- Sit, Sit... SIT!!!!
- What the *** is that? A "Plapitus"!?!
- I dunno! I dunno! It was around the playground...
scavenging in the same dumpster as me. And It looked so cute...
...that I grabbed its hand and decided to bring it home! Look
- This is one of those endangered beasts from the National Park
- Or perhaps one of those, when they closed the Zoo of Almendralejo...
...one of those that wasn't made into fast food
- What I am sure it is not, is Don Draper.
- Cause you are not Don Draper, are you?
- I dunno about Don Draper, but It reminds me a lot of Mayte Zaldivar...
...Check it out!
- It has the same look. - And the same skin color! Sit!
- Stop, ***! Keep your hands to yourself!
- Maybe It is one of those ninis! Spain is full of them! Are you a Nini? Sit!
- Well, It smells like it's been five days in a rave.
- Hey! We could wash it a little bit! So it smellz gud!
- You just keep this critter here at home...
...I know how we are going to make some profit off it!
- Profit! Sit, Sit!... SIT!
- It's *** disgusting. - Dang! Look how it eats!
- ***, we are not going to get anything out of this ***, dirty dummy...
- I *** ON THE MOTHER WHO BRED IT! It's drinking the wine! Let it go, ***!
- This all happened because you have to drag home all the *** crap....
...that you find in the street, ***!
- No, but, look! check it out! It looks like it's cheered up with the wine!...
Look, how the dude dances! Look! It is a marvel!
- Such a cutie!
- Maybe we'll end up making a profit out of this critter after all!
- Such a cutie! Look at it!! aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww!
- It was amazing...
- I really don't know how we ended up like this...
- I don't know... a lot of rubbing but we couldn't find any holes on it.
- Anyway, now I am positive....
...about how we are going to make a living off this ***.
I dunno dance out of vize, I danze out of nessesitie.
Gimme dough. Me hungary. God bless ya
- You are going to be dancing here the whole afternoon....
...When that fills up, head home.
- This is the closest thing to Nacho Duato in the natural world.
- What I just can't understand is what was God thinking when...
...when He created a piece of *** like this.
-The dude has moves!
Some time later...
- Mayte Zaldivar! Argh!
- Man! The joy of the House! You are so cute! Who dressed you? El Yosi?
Come on! The dough!
Give me the money, *** ***!
You spent it!?! Give me the *** money!!!
Give me my money! Give me my...
- Nooooo! Don't beat it up! It's my girlfriend! - Move away!
You are not going to deceive me with your Marujita Diaz look...
...and the garlic and *** stench!...
...If you don't give me my money, I sell you!
- Please! We are together! - Shut up!, eh? I'M SELLING YOU!
- I really don't know about this... It doesn't look like a goat...
...a hog, a jack *** or anything. Do you have any other animals?
- You give it some wine in the mornings...
...clap your hands, and it dances better than Lina Morgan!
Seriously! Besides, you don't have to wash it, no maintenance costs!
You give it a prickly pear, with bread soaked in milk in the morning....
...and it goes the entire day! Won't require anything else!
Man, I'll give you 10 leuros.
- 10 leuros!?! 10 euros for this! This is worth at least 500!!...
...Haven't you noticed what a majestic being it is?
You put this thing to climbing up and down your staircase to rumba tunes....
...to, and you'll be making way more money than selling fruit, ***!
This is a huge showbiz star! It is going to be the next national hero!
Like Han Solo, or Curry Valenzuela! Look! check this out!
Dance, dance so the gentleman can see it!
Dance, so the gentleman can see it, Goddamnit! Dance!
Jesus *** Christ, if you don't dance...
...I am going to rip your *** balls off!
...But. it dances, honest!
- I'll give you 10 leuros. Not a penny more.
- 10 leuros... I thought the Cherokee tribe...
...stood out for their kindness and justice...
...You just peed on their traditions!
And you! Go *** yourself!
Why are you limping, cracker?
Cause one of my balls is off-balance!
I am coming for you, brother!
Arsa! Ole! Arsa! Tacata!
Take your 5 euros! I am keeping it!
And you! Now you dance, ***? Let's go!
But these are not 10 euros... Son of a ***!
Let's go home, ***!
Now when we get home, I am going to fix you an acorn salad with wallpaper...
...so good you're gonna *** your pants!
Aaaaaaaagh!!!
KANUTO: die you bastaaaaaaaaard!